Kathy&Mike: Before and After

Deep Thoughts by Joey

"I know I don't act like it sometimes, but I really do like Dad."
"Aw, funny Mom. All full of laughter and clumsiness."
"I think I have something wrong with my stomach, or maybe with my uterus."
"Ever since you guys got back from Hawaii, you're all in love with each other."
"I might need you to slap me down some bucks so I can buy a snowcone."
"I always like to share everything before I eat, because then I know if it's poison or not."
"See, Dad, you should never trust a girl, because most of the girls in the entire world have short-term memory loss."
"I know where I want to go for my birthday. How about Jamaica?"
"My stomach hurts. Maybe I should get my intesticles checked."
"Dad, did you know the Nuggets and the Avalanche play at the same stake center?"
Joey: "I know what the 'S' stands for and what the 'B' stands for, but what is the 'O'?" Mom: "What is the 'S'?" Joey: "Some uh nuh."
"By any chance, could we maybe go to Asia sometime?"
"I know what midwives do. When you guys (nurses) take a lunch break, they walk around and check on all the pregnant people. So if you don't take a lunch break, then they don't to anything."
"Duh, Mom. It's not the nineteen-hundreds anymore."
"Did you know that chickens have two butts? The extra one is for eggs."
"For Halloween, I want to be a knight in suiting armour."
Joey loaded his back pack with heavy rocks. When asked why, he replied, "Because someone tried to steal it. Now they can't lift it."
(while flexing muscles in front of the mirror) "Do I have a six-pack? No, I think I only have a two-pack."
Mom (in the car): "Why do I always have to stop and pee and you guys never do?" Joey: "Because boys have two nuts and girls only have one."
(in a jetted tub in a hotel room) "I've got some major bubblage going on here!"
(in the grocery store) "I was being followed by a lost baby, but then the owner came and found her."
"Me and my girlfriend are going on a date tomorrow. We might go to Red Lobster, or maybe to Family Dollar."
"Mmmm, this smells like Dad's nice armpits!"
"I'm writing a bee-ography on the Birdman for school."
(when I can't remember something): "Dad, don't you think Mom has anesthesia?"